i want to wake up in a city that never sleeps.

Whoa. Sorry for the delay. I feel bad for not updating for, um, well… ever. So I’m just going to quickly post the tracklist of the CD I made to make me feel better about this horrific impending snowstorm (and until I get in my car, I’ll be listening to Frank Sinatra to cheer me up. My musical tastes? SO WEIRD.)

Anyway. Songs to make me feel less shitty about the fact that it’s winter for real now:
1. Passion Pit, “Sleepyhead”
2. A Camp, “Stronger Than Jesus”
3. Chairlift, “Bruises”
4. Harlem, “Beautiful and Very Smart” (thanks Brig)
5. Guillemots, “Made Up Lovesong #43″
6. Arcade Fire, “Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)”
7. Dr. Dog, “Heart It Races”
8. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, “Hysteric”
9. Florence and the Machine, “Dog Days Are Over”
10. Passion Pit, “Moth’s Wings” (I usually hate putting two songs by the same artist on one mix CD. However, these two are so different they very well could be by different artists.)
11. Animal Collective, “My Girls”
12. Coconut Records, “West Coast”
13. Kings of Convenience, “I’d Rather Dance With You”
14. Stars, “What I’m Trying to Say”
15. Phoenix, “Lasso”
16. Her Space Holiday, “The Year in Review”
17. Doves, “There Goes the Fear”

So, there you go. My pitiful attempt at an update. I can’t wait until I have no work or legitimate school in Ireland and can actually blog.

productive things i do when class is canceled. exhibits a & b.

First order of business: You know how your wingspan is supposed to be the same as your height? Mine is six inches shorter. Further cementing my hangstbucket status.

I am supposed to be working on an individualized major proposal. Logically, I am just going to tell you what music to listen to instead, and give you YouTube links so you can listen to five songs that I’m obsessed with this week. (And also discover that I have a really broad and bizarre range of musical tastes.) I think we can all agree that I made the appropriate choice.

Iron & Wine – Communion Cups & Someone’s Coat Iron & Wine is fall. I mean, any acoustic business with copious Biblical references screams fall, but Iron & Wine tops the list for me, without a doubt.

The Antlers – Bear Here is a deceptively upbeat song about having an abortion. If that description doesn’t make you want to listen, I frankly don’t know how to help you out here. It’s been stuck in my head all week, and I’m totally fine with that. Also, this album in general is fabulous– the subject matter is pretty much the height of depressing, but it is so beautiful that you can listen to it without wanting to hang yourself. So, win.

Carla Bruni – Quelqu’un M’a Dit Possibly the most gorgeous song ever. Carla Bruni is my favorite first lady who is not Michelle Obama, just for this. (Let’s be real, though: Nobody can beat Michelle Obama. I definitely daydream of being her BFF, because she is so cool and smart and nerdy–like, naming Cousin Oliver as one of the Brady Bunch levels of pop culture nerdiness, who doesn’t love that?–and is the only person under the age of 50 who loves cardigans more than I do.)

Doves – There Goes the Fear Another one from the excellent soundtrack of (500) Days of Summer (which I have yet to see but whatever). If I were to direct a car commercial, I would use this song. Well, it would be hard to decide between this song and “Gideon” by My Morning Jacket, but this one would probably win out.

Florence & the Machine – Dog Days are Over Never did I imagine I would find a song that is better for listening to at top volume and singing (read: shouting) along to in the car than “Halo,” but here it is. (By the way, she also has a great “Halo” cover out there on the interwebs. Look for it if you enjoy this song.) Sorry, tangent, back to the subject at hand: That refrain! It’s glorious. And it does my favorite musical technique ever: the fake-out ending. If I still worked out um, ever, I would listen to this song on repeat. Also, this is the first time I’ve seen the music video and I must say it’s fantastically bizarre.

my definition of family, courtesy of somebody else.

“Confronted with the impossible, there was no option but to treat it as normal. We didn’t have an upper register, so to speak, but only the middle range of our shared experience and ways of behaving, of joking around. But it got us through.” -Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex

In other news: I am so stressed out about the state of our society right now that I cannot even bring myself to look at the election results in Maine for fear that it will be a repeat of California this time last year. Things like this makes me feel so depressed and so incapable of agency because I just cannot figure out where the question, where the debate even lies. I feel like it’s almost patronizing to call common sense to a vote– and then I realize that it’s apparently not common sense to have respectful litigation that works toward equality. (Then again, we are excellent at making debates where there are none, or making legitimate debates all about things that have nothing to do with them. Exhibits A-Z: health care reform and the fact that apparently nobody else learned about the Hyde Amendment in high school.) It’s too upsetting to even keep writing about it in my current frame of mind.

because i’ve done far too much legitimate productive writing this week.

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I sleep with them however I left them, generally in an in-between state.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Of course.

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
I don’t make my bed, so out.

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Do traffic cones count? If so, I was only an accomplice.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
Like is a severe understatment.

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
No. The cutting of coupons is far too much preplanning and organization and effort when I know I’m going to purchase the same groceries every Sunday. (Unless I have a ridiculous insatiable craving.)

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Hmmm. I guess I would take the bees. Even though I’m allergic, I’m not severely so, and I’d be sure to have an epi-pen on me. Because if I’m choosing between one or the other, I’d know to be prepared.

8. Do you have freckles?
Yes. More and more each year.

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
When I’m aware that I’m in them, I usually smile and tilt my head to the side. Sometimes, though, I make crazy/obnoxious faces.

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Pet peeve has to be something that’s minor, so I’d have to say the use of “good” as an adverb. Unless it’s being used sarcastically.

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
No.

12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
No. My idea of an outdoorsy activity is going out on the porch or a hammock or a boat to read a book instead of staying in the house. I don’t spend time in the woods.

13. What about pooped in the woods?
Again, I cannot remember the last time I’ve been in the woods.

14. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?
Yes.

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Yes.

16. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
A Chevy Cavalier.

17. What size is your bed?
Long, but narrow.

18. What is your Song of the week?
“Dog Days are Over” by Florence and the Machine.

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Yes.

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
Yes.

21. Whats your least favorite movie?
Pretty Woman. Words cannot describe my hatred.

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
Why would I share my hiding spot?

23. What do you drink with dinner?
Diet Coke, if it’s a dinner that occurs before 5 p.m. (although I break that rule way too often). Red wine, on occasion. Water. Tea.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I don’t eat chicken nuggets. If we’re discussing chicken strips: barbeque sauce. I believe that everything worth eating can be accompanied by one of the following: barbeque sauce, pesto, pepperoni (although pepperoni is perfectly edible on its own), hummus, peanut butter, Nutella, a good vinaigrette dressing, or feta/brie/goat cheese. I have non-traditional ideas about condiments. But, really, name one thing that is delicious that is not made more delicious by one of the things on that list.

25. What is your favorite food?
Pasta, without a doubt. I could (and pretty much do) eat it every day.

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Fargo, Juno, Raising Arizona, The Royal Tenenbaums, Elf, American Beauty, Zoolander, Drop Dead Gorgeous, The Breakfast Club, Almost Famous, just about anything made by Pixar. I’m a repeat viewer by nature, it seems.

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Hmmm.

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Yes. And a woefully inadequate one at that. It was not a long-lived endeavor.

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
I don’t think the opportunity would ever arise.

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Last week, to D-Money.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
I can drive it to the oil change place, if that’s what you’re asking.

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
No. Which is surprising; I’m a solid driver but a complete leadfoot.

33. Ran out of gas?
No.

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
Peanut butter on wheat bread is perfect. Also, grilled cheese.

35 Best thing to eat for breakfast?
EVERYTHING. Breakfast foods are the best thing in this world that are not pasta. French toast, bagels, pancakes, waffles.

36. What is your usual bedtime?
2 a.m.-ish.

37. Are you lazy?
No. Just disorganized and unfiltered.

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
A random sampling: a pumpkin, Jasmine from Aladdin, witch, Meg from Hercules, movie star, something that wore a sparkly green dress and a LOT of makeup.

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Horse.

40. How many languages can you speak?
I think to say one and a half would be an accurate evaluation of my French skills.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Yes. The New Yorker. And all of Sheebs’s that I end up reading.

42..Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos are still fun to play. Lincoln logs stopped being fun eight minutes into the first time I ever played with them.

43. Are you stubborn?
Oh, trust me. You cannot be otherwise when you have my set of genes.

44. Who is better…Leno or Letterman?
Uh. Conan and Craig Ferguson. Also, Jon Stewart.

45. Ever watch soap operas?
No.

46. Afraid of heights?
On occasion they make me a bit nauseated/dizzy, but it’s inconsistent and it’s not a fearful feeling. Just discomfort.

47. Sing in the car?
Yes.

48. Dance in the shower?
No.

49. Dance in the car?
Not while I’m driving, but almost always when I’m a passenger in Big Blue or the Syncmobile.

50. Ever used a gun?
No.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
My senior pictures, so… 2007? Yes?

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Yes, but it does not stop me from loving them.

53. Is Christmas stressful?
On occasion.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?
No.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
I hate fruit pie.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Mermaid. Bathtub. Actress. Lawyer. Teacher. Spy.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
No.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes.

59. Take a vitamin daily?
Yes.

60. Wear slippers?
No. I am always barefoot in my apartment; my feet need to be free.

61. Wear a bath robe?
No.

62. What do you wear to bed?
Sweats.

63. First concert?
It was without a doubt something ridiculous at Irishfest when I was young.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target is my biggest vice.

65. Nike or Adidas?
New Balance?

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
I dislike both but occasionally crave Fritos. Strange, yes.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Neither.

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
No.

69. Ever take dance lessons?
Only eight years of Irish dance and random jazz, tap, and ballet on the side.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
I’m trying to hearken back to the future-telling Brig and I wrote down during our senior year and can’t remember. I think we just decided my future spouse will be amusing and ridiculous on numerous levels, including an occupational one.

71. Can you curl your tongue?
Yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
Yes.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes.

74. Own any record albums?
No.

75. Own a record player?
No.

76. Regularly burn incense?
No.

77. Ever been in love?
Not with a person, but with places and books, absolutely.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
At this present moment: the National. Or Wilco.

79. What was the last concert you saw?
For some reason, all I can think of is seeing Kathy Griffin at the Meyer, even though that’s decidedly not a concert.

80.Hot tea or cold tea?
Hot tea.

81.Tea or coffee?
Coffee. Lara refuses to believe such a thing is possible, but I’m starting to think I may just not be a tea person.

82. Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Salt.

83.Can you swim well?
Not quickly but well.

84.Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes.

85. Are you patient?
Not notably so, no.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
It depends. I’m not really the kind of person who’s got her wedding all planned out.

87.Ever won a contest?
Yes.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
No.

89. Which are better black or green olives?
Blerg.

90.Can you knit or crochet?
No.

91. Best room for a fireplace?
Living room. Or old-timey study.

92. Do you want to get married?
Well, if the situation arises with a person I can tolerate for lengthy periods of time.

93. If married, how long have you been married?
No.

94. Who was your HS crush?
Jude Law and Clive Owen.

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
No.

96. Do you have kids?
No.

97. Do you want kids?
I think I’d make a pretty entertaining mother.

98. What’s your favorite color?
Blue and green. Yellow, also. Red, on occasion.

99. Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes.

such a lack of diplomacy, you can’t get out.

I’m just going to post something for your viewing pleasure. Something that exemplifies why Diana and I are awesome, and why self-important neo-conservatives are not.

Diana’s roommate’s boyfriend, who we’ll H. henceforth, posted a YouTube video of a baby doing the “stanky leg” dance on her Facebook wall with the note, “waste of my tax dollars.” Here is the subsequent comment conversation (all grammar intact, no commentary from me except, you know, my commentary within the conversation itself):

Diana: “How does that, in any way, have an impact on your taxes?”

H: “guarantee they’re on welfare”

Diana: “You can’t just say that!” (note: this was my EXACT verbal reaction when Diana told me this story in person yesterday.)

H: “Why not? I’m just stating the obvious”

Diana: “It isn’t obvious. They are perfectly respectable people. And so what if they are on welfare? Sometimes people just need help.”

H: “Respectable people? Listen to the language she uses around her kids..Look at the stripper style of dancing this lil kid uses..They are the antithesis of a respectable family”

Diana: “Who are you to judge what a respectable family is? The only reason you’re even saying any of this is because they’re black.”

H: “I was simply rebutting your “respectable family” comment. And why must you simple minded libs always bring race into a non race issue? And who are you to pass judgement on me? If these were white people toting guns you’d be the first to label them as “right wing nutjobs”…D I love you but don’t lecture me on racism or being judgemental. It really caries no significance in any rational debate.”

Me, commenting after Diana informed me of this nonsense in the flesh: “How is this possibly a “rational debate” when it stemmed from a claim that cannot be proven by any possible empirical evidence and stems from blatant stereotyping and sweeping generalizations?”

H: “haha. Am I guilty of a generalization or two? Of course I am! Do I care or do I lose sleep over it? Absolutely not. You on the other hand are guilty of the same stereotyping and generalizations as I am, but it kills you to be labeled as such. I’m sure you see yourself as an “open minded” “non judgemental” defender of the “less fortunate”. One who can’t sleep at night knowing there are pubs like myself who use diesel fuel to burn the very plastics you work so feverishly to clean up on Sunday afternoons. Don’t worry Obama will save you! Say it with me, Yes he can! Yes he can!”

Me: “Yes, a generalization or two, or nine. I think it’s funny that you claim to know so much about me and my ideology when you’ve never met me at all and I did not express an opinion, conservative, liberal, or otherwise, during the course of this debate, but simply mentioned a misappropriation of the word “rational.”

Then again, if I met someone with an expansive vocabulary and a clear grasp on facts and argumentation, I’d assume that person was a liberal, too.”

her eyes are like champagne

Saddest moment of my week/month/semester: I’m reading this fabulous book, the memoirs of this sassy, hilarious Irish-Catholic woman with this totally dysfunctional family (you know, the kind of woman to whom I can relate on nearly every level). And I just realized that my checking it out from Dolores is the first time it’s been checked out in my lifetime. It makes me want to cry.

(In case you couldn’t tell, we talked about Zora Neale Hurston today in my Modern American Novel class today and I’m now convinced that an advanced degree in English will get me a job as somebody’s maid. So. Not really feeling great about the state of art and literature in our culture right now.)

today my shuffle played “don’t stop believing” and “free bird” right in a row.

I am losing whatever semblance of a filter I may have once possessed.

Example: Last night I was working on a proposal for one of my 305 papers, and I was having so much difficulty with appropriate modifiers that I kept having to think out loud while Kate and Jean stared at me. Example: “If you were to describe a really large, expansive grief? Like, a really big grief– but that’s not what I want to say. OH! Devastating.” Ridiculous.

(Then again, Kate whispered “Stellaaaaaaaa” to herself while she was reading about streetcars. So it’s not like I have friends who can really judge me for these things.)

Another example: Last night, I was eating second dinner in bed and I spilled Diet Coke all over the damn place. I mopped it right up and it didn’t even stain, so it wasn’t a big deal, just embarrassing. Except that I no longer have shame. So logically, I texted Lara right away, told Kate and Jean when I saw them in Dolores (the library formerly known as the Lady Parts/the Mulva), and told one of my professors in class today.

Best example: Today in 305, lecture wrapped up and we were just having a chat/asking our professor questions. A foreign exchange student from Germany asked, for no apparent reason, “What is the deal with Matt Damon? Why is it that whenever someone says his name, people laugh?” I was not aware of this phenomenon, but I probably did not do much to fight it by laughing raucously at his question.

well, hey, dom deluise references!

Summary of my Saturday night:

-Someone did a “voice” while telling a story, and Kate (queen of ridiculous and inaccurate storytelling “voice”s, may I add) told him or her that she or he sounded like Dom Deluise. What 22-year-old woman actually knows that much about Dom Deluise?

-Drew doing a dead-on impression of Cathy. As in the comic strip. And, no, he does not watch 30 Rock. (Lara and I realized after our seventieth reference that neither Kate nor Drew watches that show. Sad day, indeed.)

-Drew, coming back inside after leaving the door open himself: “Lara! You’re lettin’ all the goddamn heat out, do you think we own the electric company?” Best part: Lara had yet to actually turn the heat on at this point in the evening. I was cowering under a quilt (note: non-Amish) the whole time.

-Lara had an epiphany and realized, after two years, how the Y-Mart got its name.

-Discussion of the pope-ulation density of Vatican City. Thank you, Drew.

-Drew made himself a “poor man’s Tom Collins.” This consisted of a lot of gin, and a lot of lemon juice, and absolutely nothing else. Kate and I were very disturbed, but Lara had the good sense to ask if he wanted sugar. Drew: “NO. I don’t want sugar! It’ll go straight to my ass!” (Note: This was after Drew had four Sparks, that glorious malternative energy drink.)

-Drew had an epiphany and remembered that he drank four sparks. “That’s like… drinking a syrup factory…”

-The rest of us had an epiphany and realized Drew may be Napoleon Dynamite. This occurred at roughly the same time Drew went to his car to get his eighth grade dance mix CD to play.

-While Kate and I were drinking things that: a) taste delicious, and b) are not Satan’s urine, Lara and Drew were drinking gin. Except Lara was drinking Tanqueray, and Drew was drinking Fleischmann’s. I think we all know who the winner is here. Unfortunately, Drew seemed to think it was himself, and made fun of Lara’s uppity gin all night long. Best moment:
Lara: “I kind of hate the taste this leaves in my mouth.”
Drew: “What, the taste of being rich?”

-Despite his pervasive drunkenness, Drew kept calling Lara out on her occasional dumb comments, namely:
Lara: “If I were an eagle, I could fly.”
Drew: “So can most eagles.”

-Also, this:
Lara: “Do you want to sleep on the big futon? That way all your feet can be on it.”
Drew: “I really just care about the two.”

-Lara has a habit of asking what things are called while saying the name of the thing in her question. Example: “What’s that hat that a cowboy wears?” Um, a cowboy hat.

-Lara: “My stomach is hungry but my face is not.”
Me: “I don’t understand. Do you just… not feel like masticating?”
Drew: “Mmmm. Masticating. That’s a good word. It makes me feel dirty.”

-Drew’s continued insistence that he did not need to “ver-mit.”

-Drew’s continued insistence that he is anal retentive because he could not “pass water.” Kate is probably still confused.

-”I’m Catholic. I have a certificate that says I’m Catholic. Best Catholic ever. Two points for Catholicism!” -Drew

why should you want any other when you’re a world within a world?

I would have to mark fall break as a success thus far.

Things I accomplished today:
-Two naps. By 1 p.m. Be jealous. (Although, not that jealous. Chances of me sleeping more than three hours tonight are now about 13%. If that.)
-Played Ben Folds at top volume and sang along, because I have the apartment to myself and I can. There is nothing more wonderful than knowing I have four solid days of having the apartment to myself.
(Note: Having the apartment to myself probably won’t do great things for the missing link I have between what goes on inside my head and what’s going on around me. Get ready for me to continue making mental leaps and leaving the rest of you behind, my friends.)
-Realized that I totally get Jacques Lacan now.
-Realized that it probably doesn’t indicate the best things about my psychological state that re-reading “The Yellow Wallpaper” is what made me fully understand how to apply Jacques Lacan to literature.
-Stopped feeling bad about my chin upon seeing a photo of Charlotte Perkins Gilman. Her massive jaw only makes me appreciate her more.

i owned the set of shoulders that you came to rely on.

It started pouring rain today– it rained all night, and I thought it was over when I left my apartment for classes and work, but apparently the sky opened up during my work shift, and I thought I had no appropriate rain gear, so I resolved to walk to class with my scarf over my head and around my shoulders. Of course, I ran into two of my co-workers, who laughed out loud at the sight of me, and Kate, who tried not to.

Me: “Kate, don’t judge me!”
Kate: “I’m not judging you. (Bursts into laughter.) You look like my grandmother.”
Me: “Um… that was a judgment.”

After my exam, I did the following exciting things: a) realized I had an umbrella in my bag, b) went to hang out with Kate and Joho in the Writing Center in order to hide from the terrible weather/avoid homework. When I walked in, Kate instantly noticed the presence of my umbrella.
Me: “Yeah, I know. I had it in my bag the whole time. Ridiculous.”
Joho: “What?”
Me: “I didn’t realize I had an umbrella on me, so I was running around campus looking like the Virgin Mary.”
Joho, deadpan: “I don’t think anyone would mistake you for the Virgin Mary.”

After that, things just got weird.

There was a random student hangsting about in the hallway outside the Writing Center, totally unaware that Kate was staring at her. Kate got a text from a random number that said “can we have fish?” (it turned out to be from one of her residents.) A random kid walked into the WC, looked around in a state of complete disorientation, and started walking out. Kate goes, “Can we help you?” and he goes, “No!” and dashes out.

Then we had an in-depth discussion about newspaper drama. Joho mentioned that she had interviewed President Kunkel the other day, and that this is always a challenge for her because she gets a little song stuck in her head that goes “President Kunkel in my soup” a la Shirley Temple. Then we got into real newspaper drama and smack-talk.
Kate: “Is he an English major?”
Me: “Not anymore.”
Kate: “Why is he in our class, then?”
Me: “I think he’s still a minor.”
Joho: “What’s his major then?”
Me: “He’s a comm major.”
Joho: [laughs out loud.]
Fact: All you need to do to make Joho laugh is say “comm major.” I don’t know why (I really don’t–her best friend is a comm major), but you can get her to spew her beverage across the room by saying it, particularly if it’s in a full-out Fargo accent.

But the best part was this total non sequitur from Joho: “Pangea is my favorite thing in the world. It’s just so much fun! Like, do you ever look at a map and try to but Pangea back together?”
Kate and I: “Um. No.”
Joho: “You have to try it sometime! It’s amazing! I LOVE Pangea.”